Celebrity Site Seeker Gifts

'Well professor, we have traced the villa back to a Keith Moon.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Get me public relations!'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Restraining orders from the stars.

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

Kathryn Morris

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"He loves to give autographs!"

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"Five minutes, General."

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"

"Are you expecting someone, Caroline?"

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.