Celebrity Picture Seeker Gifts

"I wanted to get that Annie Leibovitz person to come over and take your birthday picture, but she doesn't return her calls."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"Apple harvest."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Get me public relations!'

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Restraining orders from the stars.

Kathryn Morris

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"He loves to give autographs!"

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"Five minutes, General."

"Are you expecting someone, Caroline?"