Celebrity Autograph Seeker Gifts

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

Meet the Author

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Restraining orders from the stars.

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"Can I borrow a pen?"

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Signing cage.

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

The Bible, signed copy.

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"Just sign it 'To the Lucky High Bidder.'"

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

Horatio T. Osborn, born 1787, died 1852, greatness thrust upon him 1825.

At the signing of William C.Lockland's latest best selling wheelbarrow.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"