Celebrity Lawyer Gifts

Lawyer to client: 'My last celebrity case involved Sonny and Cher. I did the work pro Bono.'

'Saddam today refused to answer any questions unless he's represented by a 'celebrity lawyer' such as F. Lee Bailey or Johnnie Cochran...'

Sopwerth, Drewry and Sims - Practice Limited to 'celebrity law'.

'While my practice is limited to celebrities, I occasionally represent a 'nobody' to prove the system works for one and all.'

Fatuous, Vacuous & Superfluous: celebrity lawyers.

Manure Rights

Squeezing the Free Press.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Tom Hanks

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Joe Henry

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

JET (Part I)

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."