Friend Who Is A Lawyer Gifts

'You remember my husband, Geoff. He represented you in that messy divorce settlement of ours.'

That shows business confidence.

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

"Yes ... no!"

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

violence in workplace

Teacher's pet dog

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Fish in Water Cooler.

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

Copier is hypnotizing office worker.

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"Do you think it is easy to pretend to work?"

Tony Blair: The Early Years. 'I'm invisitble - nobody can see me!'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

"My favourite part of the wedding ceremony was when the minister said "repeat after me"..."

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

"I like the way you handle responsibility, Fenton, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."

Secretary

"Before I start the test, Ms. Masten....May I say you've never looked lovelier!"

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."