Celebrity Jesters Gifts

"Know what I miss? Just sitting around with my old friends, and barking."

COWS: Cow Pong

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Medieval headlines.

Richard the Turd

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

Looking for a cool cat.

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'

'The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That doesn't allow for much flexibility.'