Celebrity Jesters Gifts

"Know what I miss? Just sitting around with my old friends, and barking."

COWS: Cow Pong

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Richard the Turd

Medieval headlines.

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"I forgot how to tie mine, too."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Got outta jury duty!"

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

"Permission to reproach the bench" is not an option, counselor. It should be.

Looking for a cool cat.

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'