Celebrity Hopeful Gifts

"You have no experience, skills or talent. I'm afraif we can only place you on a reality TV show, which will lead to wealth and fame."

"Dang! There I am! I'm in Riding Low magazine! You know what this means? My life will change forever...I'm a celebrity...people will ask for my autograph!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Hollywood or bust!

Tom Cruise

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

So close... Yet so far.

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Live the Dream!

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'