Celebrity Gossip Lover Pillows

'Here is Brad Pitt's e-mail address but you did not get it from me.'

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

Royal Divorces.

'No, it's not 'Tarzan' Heseltine making a comeback, it's Nadine Dorries - get her out of here!'

'There's only one way to save the company. Does anyone know any major celebrities who would be willing to say nice things about us?'

"It's the price of fame."

'Cargill's not used to pro-bono cases - he thought that it meant representing Bono.'

The Yearly News

'What the actress actually said to me was. . .'

'What a dream!!Catherine Zeta Jones washed up AND wiped!!!'

'So much for high definition tv!'

Celebrity anagrams: I'll roar keenly (Answer: Lorraine Kelly)

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

'Quick, wardrobe malfunction!'

Maps to the rehab facilities of the stars.

'Producers don't make money from bad living actors but sometimes we can make money from actors who have tragically died... You know what I mean?'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"Step aside! Outta tha way! Celebrity divorce attorney coming through."

Celebrity Island

"Throwing up in class isn't so bad. These days, no publicity is bad publicity!"

"It horrifies me that someone can give birth to a venom-spewing demon spawn and look so fabulous six weeks later."

'Would you believe it was an evil robot from the future?'

'Not another elimination show!'

'So what's the truth about you and the Prince Snow White? Maybe not so White from what we know?'

"How many more times, woman..."

"What kind of agent are you if you can't eve get my super-injunction leaked onto Twitter!?"

"I suppose there's a penalty for this...."

'Police! Snow White we have complaints about your relationship with 'Grumpy', and one 'Dopey' some ten years ago.'

"We're having drinks tonight with some people who've eaten with some people who've eaten with that 'Times' food guy."

"He's one of those supposedly good actors who isn't."

"I've seen it a thousand times: Child star. Newfound fame. Drug addiction. Rock bottom."

"Oh come off it, Aston! The only reason you decided to detest Chris Evert is because no one else does."

Ronnie and Sammi get into ANOTHER argument about the housing crisis

"‘Nicole Richie arrested for DUI’ ... Bless that girl, she never lets me down."

JET (Part I)