Celebrity Gossip Lovers Pillows

They Shop Among Us

'You are a disgrace to the celebrity profession. I sentence you to three years in reality TV shows.'

"Schwarzenegger really crossed the line when he cheated on a member of the Kennedy family.... it's supposed to be the other way around."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Tom Hanks

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

JET (Part I)

Hollywood Breakup

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

John Stride

Larry King

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Weditorials

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Emily Ratajkowski

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

Whoopie Goldberg

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

'We know you are a serious actress..'