Celebrity Fandom Gifts

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'Well, let's work with the assumption that Harry Styles doesn't want to marry you...'

Meeting your Idol (Girl crying after meeting Lee Ryan from Blue).

Whitney Houston: We Will Always Love You.

"Attention shoppers...due to a scheduling conflict...the role of telenovela star Victor Guerrero is being played today by assistant produce manager Billy Joe Quiggle!"

"I think I would make the perfect boyfriend... I'm pretty low maintenance. In fact, I could watch TV in your mansion all day while you jet-set across the planet. But if you need me, I'll be there for you 24-7 to give you a huge or clean the oven. Signed,

"A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Lesser known greek gods,

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

Harriet Walter

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Woody Allen

Hollywood or bust!

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

Principal about Justin Bieber Junior High school: 'I was against letting the students name the school.'

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

'It's true: I was hunting with the King himself last week...'

Elton John

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

Dua Lipa caricature

Peter Gabriel

Rachel Anne McAdams caricature

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"