Celebrity Entertainment Gifts

'What a dream!!Catherine Zeta Jones washed up AND wiped!!!'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I think he was a celebrity."

Television Readers.

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Champagne

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

Lesser known greek gods,

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cow Show Tunes

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Cord cutter