Celebrity Critic Gifts

"Why did we stop having people fade into obscurity?"

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

The americanisation of vulture.

'What does it say, Dad?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Armageddon

Can't Touch This

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Giant Monster in Bath

"Amateurs."

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Non Thought For The Day.

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'