Celebrating Fatherhood Pillows

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"That's mine!"

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"Which one's yours?"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Baby gets blame for father letting off a fart.

Mime father in the delivery room.

"My first Father's day!"

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

Fathers are Heroes

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'Maybe he's getting too heavy for this thing?'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Father bird smoking a cigar on a line graph.

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'

Just get her home before she evolves.

"It's different when they're your own."

Baby Carriers

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Bottle Time

Clown baby.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"