Ceiling Dweller T-Shirts

"sometimes Eric, you are impossible!"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'How about a game of cards?'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Opening the Barrel

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"He knows 'sit, stay, paw' and 'upstate.'"

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

New York Scatological Society

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'