Cavity Connoisseur Gifts

'She reminds me of a toothache I once had.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"We evolved from asteroids"

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Pet Entertainers

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Crane fishing

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Man-made vs dog-made

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

About the potter.

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'After sinking all our money into our website, we couldn't afford to finish our building.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Bagging the Chipmunk

'Who are you and what do you want?'

Rishi Sunak

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'