Cavity Connoisseur Gifts

'She reminds me of a toothache I once had.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"We evolved from asteroids"

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Pet Entertainers

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Crane fishing

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Man-made vs dog-made

About the potter.

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'After sinking all our money into our website, we couldn't afford to finish our building.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

Bagging the Chipmunk

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

Rishi Sunak

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'