Caviar Connoisseur T-Shirts

'I can't believe that you eat black caviare with every meal.'

Foodie Bank

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

"Could you bring me some caviar with those crackers?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'A cheeky red?'

Party Animals.

Bacchus.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Bubbly

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I love this time of day."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Drunk, yet orderly"