Caviar Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I intend to leave this earth with that with which I came into it …. Thirty million adjusted for inflation."

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

The Perfect Foil

Feast