Cautious Colleague Gifts

Health and safety nightmare.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

No Immediate Danger

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Bureau of the Damned

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

"It means, Thank Goodness I'm Boss."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

"I need for you to go to bat for me again, Tim. And this time, could you do it without adjusting yourself?"

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"Wider."

"Sorry, Hogg is no longer with the firm."

'He was a strong voice for yes-men everywhere.'

Jay Walking

A fool and his money is soon someone's business partner

'You'll pay for this.'

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'

'Thank you for coming...I'll be ok...grief is the price we pay for love...'

"That's Zwergman...I knew there was a sleeper cell lurking somewhere in the company!"

Half a loaf is better than none..

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

"Better safe than sorry."

"Judging by the belt and suspenders, I sense you're a risk averse investor."

"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."