Cauldron Conjurer T-Shirts

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'..and one for the pot.'

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'You went to culinary school? This is not exactly a culinary thing we're doing here.'

"This batch of Witch's Brew is vegan. The eye of newt and toe of frog are plant-based."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Witches of Instagram

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Spell Check

"Texting hexes is such a time saver!"

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

My Cauldron Rules

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"And now from downtown!"

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

Fallen Angel.

"Your're mum's well wicked."

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

"She works best in hex mode."

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

"The usual, please."

After the curevac disaster: German overnment now invests in a serious pharmaceutical company.

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'