Cattle Branding Historian Gifts

Tattoo Removal: Property of the El Dorado Ranch

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Police Cow!

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Ranch Dressing

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

'Oh, shut up!'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

"Might I recommend the cud?"

Keep the food coming! Three of my four stomachs are still empty

Stealth grazing.

"Trust me, Cattle futures are the last place you want to invest"

'I like Cattle.'

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

Cow Pop Art,

"First we get a bunch of cows."

"They've just got a better grade of weed over there!"

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

'It would make people say Mr Barnes must be doing real good with his cows if he can buy his son a new bike.'

"How vexing: He's exchanging eighty of us for one single bride!"

'A cow is called 'productive livestock' because it gives milk. Parents are productive livestock, too, because they give pocket money.'

A cattle baron.

Coke and Pepsi Worldwide

'Boy that was a good dinner: I'll ruminate on it with great pleasure...'