Catching The Irony In Goat Divorces Gifts

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Billy. The Kid.

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Vincent Van Goat.

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"I like to stay on top of things."

'The persistence of Goats': Oil on Canvas, 1964. An important work from the 'Dr Sues meets Salvador Dali' school of art.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Don't worry Mum, if there's a storm and lightning, I'll stay safely next to Bob: My teacher said that lightning always hits the highest point..."

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Nothing can stop us now, Fred...'

"In the old days, we used to rescue real travellers. Now, we tend to rescue so-called adventurers and thrill-seekers..."

'Excellent napkin.'

Mountain Goat sees Mountain Goat Guru at peak.

"OK, today, Bob, your team is on blackberry clearing at the Brown's farm, while Lisa, your team is on thistle clearing at the Barker's farm..."

"Yeah, I'll be glad when the baby is born: This is really affecting my balance..."

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

Climbing with a mountain goat.

"I hate to break it to you guys, but it's kinda the same up here as it is down there."

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

'Oh, I won't fight you, you're welcome to have them: I can't stand the nagging anymore!'

"Business is booming, so yes, you're hired!"

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...

"Can you believe it? They insisted on the earmuffs so they don't have to listen to my awesome yodeling!"

Mountain Goat Olympics. 1 2 3.

I lactate, therefore I am.

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

Billy was conflicted and confused.

"be-be-be-be"

Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with dairy goats are the hardest.