Cat Psychologist Pillows

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Licensed Therapist

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"First date hairball... awkward."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Meow."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"