Cat Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

101 uses of a dead cat: wall decoration

'The hardest part of exercising is waiting for someone to show up with my laser light.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Projectile hairballing."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I hate surprises!'

Cat Lover's Leap.

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Anatomy of a cat"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

'I'm telling you, he jumped!'

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'