Cat Care Humorist Gifts

'I see you tried giving your cat a bath, again.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"I hate it..."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."