Cat Care Humorist Gifts

'I see you tried giving your cat a bath, again.'

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"I hate it..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

Strikeout Dog