Cat Care Commander Gifts

'A case of V/D prescription diet, please!'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Cat in a tank...

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

The Cat Spa

'Next!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Pest Control

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'Come on, I'll show you a nice string of fish.'

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

"Is it starve a fever and feed a cat? Or feed a fever and starve a cat?"

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Probability - if you have 5 cats, 4 will be asleep.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

A cat planning to use a garden as a toilet