Cat And Parcel Humorist Gifts

Cat Delivery

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Scuba cow"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Cats at private view

Dogs life

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

No jay walking.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'