Casual Worker Gifts

Paperboy wanted! Short round.

"Oh, no, you didn't catch me at a bad time. I was just sitting around taking some letters."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"How should we divide the teams?"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Snail Racing

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'

Caddy With A Cool Box

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

Use it or lose it.

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

'Watching the football.'

A Flag in One

"We're just like one big happy family here."

"A movie? I would rather watch this!"