Casual Worker Pillows

Paperboy wanted! Short round.

"Oh, no, you didn't catch me at a bad time. I was just sitting around taking some letters."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"How should we divide the teams?"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Snail Racing

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

Ignorance and Bliss

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Caddy With A Cool Box

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'

This week we've explored what might happen if there were a military draft. Hear what I say: How many soldiers died today? Now back to our regular programming. My iPad's shiny. My oil stocks are soaring.

Use it or lose it.

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

A Flag in One

"This is doing nothing for my abs."