Casual Work Pillows

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'Oh, no, those aren't the kid's drawings. Dave is taking adult education art class.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Use it or lose it.

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

"We're just like one big happy family here."

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

I don't know much about Tennis...

'I'm making pot pie.'

A Flag in One

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

Wine Shotput

"Miss Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of dots."

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

Apathy international.

'No thanks! Knowing what I'm supposed to be doing might throw me off.'

"I stretch and do yoga every morning. I call it tying my shoes."

'Is my job performance review over yet?'

Baseball player: 'I'll let my bat do my talking!' BAT: '...I have nothing to say'

Thousands of people gathered today to protest the nation's laws on marijuana, when suddenly everybody lost interest and ended up in a local Denny's.

Working from Home

"Please excuse Steve...he hates pretentiousness!"

'I'll be in a little late getting to the office because it was a huge weekend in sports.'

"No, not this time. I'm on a glutton-free diet."

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

I'd like to pursue a career, but I don't see any need for a high-speed chase.

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."