Casual Therapy-goer Gifts

"People say I have a rebellious nature."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Banana Yoga

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I've done nothing Instagrammable for months."

'I wouldn't worry about a poor sense of direction...'

Colin V Longshore Drift

Psychiatry. I know I've lost touch with reality, but in my defense, reality started it.

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

'What I hate most is coming home and having all those damn Harleys parked in my driveway!'

"Listen, all I remember is that I blacked out right before saying anything incriminating."

"I have a recurring dream that I have a recurring dream, but I can't remember what it is!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

"Next bench is four steps."

The post-game meal

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'No pain, No gain' T-shirt and 'No pain, No pain' T-shirt.

Tambourine.

British Summertime

Walk right in. Sit right down.

'That's right, son, 'some things never change'...like your father's underwear.'

'Um, hey, Bill, um... sorry to bother you, but, um... you didn't by any chance have purple parachute straps, did you?'

"Today, we examined our life styles, we evaluated our diet and our exercise program, and we also assessed our behavioral patterns. Then we felt we needed a drink."

'Patient wise, what I lose on the emotional rollercoasters I make up on the mood swings.'