Therapy Session Enjoyer Gifts

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Couples' therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

X-ray Psychology.

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I hate Mondays.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'We have three minutes left.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy