Casual Donor Gifts

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Snail crossing

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"This is my exit strategy."

The Shopped Elsewhere: 'They take their loyalty card scheme very seriously at this supermarket.'

'And I'm pleased to report that your stock portfolio has matured well beyond yourself, Ed.'

Food bank.

"Just scan the QR code."

"Deja Bu!"

"Roger and I are just sitting around, letting ourselves be targetted by advertisers."

"This is Dave, my friend plus."