Casual Donor Pillows

I'm giving plasma.

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Snail crossing

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Ignorance and Bliss

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"This is my exit strategy."

The Shopped Elsewhere: 'They take their loyalty card scheme very seriously at this supermarket.'

'And I'm pleased to report that your stock portfolio has matured well beyond yourself, Ed.'

"Just scan the QR code."

Food bank.

"I'm sorry. This morning we donated $500 to the Borg."

"My Man Utd top's still in the wash"

"Deja Bu!"

"Roger and I are just sitting around, letting ourselves be targetted by advertisers."

"This is Dave, my friend plus."