Casual Consumer Pillows

"Roger and I are just sitting around, letting ourselves be targetted by advertisers."

Ignorance and Bliss

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Wine at the Bar

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

Getting old...