Quiet Donor Pillows

'I've no time for the ice buck nonsense. I'll just continue donating to charity in my own quiet way.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

The nonprofit dog fight.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

Transplant ward - where having a change of heart isn't frowned upon.

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

Give To Tsunami's Victims.

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

If a mime is alone in a forest and a tree falls on him...does it make a sound?

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

"Give me your KickStarter URL again. I'll just PayPal my money."

"It's called tithing, not a flat tax of 10%."

"It's a large gift - a very large gift. So the question is: do we rename ourselves 'Aunt Tilly's Frozen Fish University'?"

'Great news! We found a donor body!'

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

'I'm afraid I don't have any spare change at the moment.. Tell you what though, if you give me your email address I'll contribute via the internet.'

A donor overcomes fear and risk with data and transparency in order to get funding.

'Hi, pal -- I'm collecting for a trip to Sturgis.'