Casual Diplomat Gifts

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

EU

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Militant Pacifists

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Just a little heads up!

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'