Castmasters Pillows

Fly-fishing - Mr. Bungle always makes his flies on the bank of the stream. Here is one of his most successful efforts.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"River well stocked this year."

Beers

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

A giant glass of red wine

'Toast'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Cheers

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Casting in the swamp.

Prosecco

A very fine vintage

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

Choirmaster conducting, with one hand over a choirboy's mouth.

Casting Director

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."