Castle Collector T-Shirts

Fish king swimming around his bowl!

"Damn it. He's got a moat."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'If he starts with the Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum bit, just smile and say you'll reconsider your offer.'

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

'Well, great, now the Hendersons have TV and aluminum siding, and we're still stuck with this dumb castle.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Fishbowl Vampire Castle

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Southwark Fair.

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

Barristers

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

The First Printed Bible

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

At last, Clarence thought, the long-awaited return to the old economy had begun.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'