Cast And Giggles Pillows

'You lifted your head.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

A baby playing on a grand piano

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"I might just get a pie."

A mum trying to dry an excited child

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

A centi-stampede.

At the baby oil factory.

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"Leave room for sex."

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

Two breasts: No waiting

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Waiter? You're in my soup!'

"My bouche was not amused."

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

"Filet Mignon, medium irradiated."

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"Where's the Viagra?!" "Where's the fire escape?!"

'It says here on your application that you were fired from your receptionist position for refusing to answer phones...well, thanks for applying! Bye now!'

"O.K., in three... two... one..."

Breakthrough by a comic

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

Pogo-stick and the Gardener.

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

'Back so soon?'

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'