Casino Hopper Gifts

The only machine in Vegas that pays out.

Today's special... donuts.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"We're here to experience pleasure."

1930's Lady.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Nature Lovers

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'You've had enough!'

Clubbing

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We're here, Harry."

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

'Oh, the amenity!'

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

Bouncer.

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

'A room with double beds, please.'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.