Cash Juggler Gifts

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

Wealth Juggler.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Wait a minute....!

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'The numbers aren't working.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

Jack and the Beanstalk.