Cash Cushioner Gifts

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

TV-Man

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

A couple with a new baby

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"When did this game get started?"

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Sitting Out the Lambada

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.

"Sky, sir?"

'I'm afraid to ask.'

Just Married