Cash Carrier Gifts

Security van being filled with bags of money from a bank.

"Apparently, the bank where I cash my paycheck just went 'paperless'."

'What's it going to be - paper or plastic?'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

Fries and kids

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

Dog traps the postman.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'Beware of the teenager.'

New Marvel Heroes

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"Anything for me?"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Self-Checkout.

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Seinfeld: The Early Years.