Cartoonist's Muse Gifts

"I'm having trouble with the part where the lion doesn't just eat the mouse anyway."

Naw, man. Catnip's not my thing, but I wouldn't mind a beer.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Can You Spot the Differences?

Torturing the English Language

"We only got six days of funding."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Trump pardons

Claus 2.0

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

Where Indian ink came from.

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

Shampoo.

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Glance Exchange

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Barbeque Casualty.

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.