Cartoon Lover Of Worker Jokes Gifts

"I'll vote for shorter hours - 60 minutes is far too long."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

Two doctors holding hands

'Once again you have exceeded my expectations.'

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'Before I show you where you'll be working, let me just say that some companies use money as an incentive. I use Vito here.'

"We will of course keep you fully uninformed."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

"Don't even think about it."

'Yeah, I know it's a plastic carrot: I wanted a low-maintenance system...'

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

'When you can spare a few minutes, Bromwell, I'd like to discuss those tranquilizers your doctor has you on.'

"A few of the staff are still a little unsure of their roles in the company...so here's a quick recap."

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'Dig in.'

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'