Carry-on Critic Gifts

Municipal Airport - Bags Left unattended Will Be Sold At our Gift Shop.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"I'll have a double entendre."

End of the World 8 Miles, Next Exit 10 Miles.

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

Don't walk while cross.

Galley Plane.

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Sports futility vehicles

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

'In retrospect, we should never have booked this titanic-themed cruise.'

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

"Can you believe my parents? Taking a 2-week cruise on my future inheritance!"

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

"Show-off!"

"I tho tired."

“Now that you’ve stayed up all night trying to cram everything you need into a carry-on, and now that you’ve reconciled with the fact that your hair dryer had to stay behind, and now that you’ve frantically rushed through the airport with your cumbersome luggage in tow and made it through security and to the gate just in the nick of time, we’re going to make you check your bag anyway. Don’t worry, though — it’s complimentary.”