Carry-on Critic Pillows

Municipal Airport - Bags Left unattended Will Be Sold At our Gift Shop.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Metro Sapien.

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"I'll have a double entendre."

End of the World 8 Miles, Next Exit 10 Miles.

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Don't walk while cross.

Galley Plane.

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

Sports futility vehicles

'It's $15 to check a bag and $25 if you want it to arrive at your destination.'

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

'An authentic Viking experience, you said. The cruise of a lifetime, you said. It'll be awesome, you said.'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Can you believe my parents? Taking a 2-week cruise on my future inheritance!"

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'In retrospect, we should never have booked this titanic-themed cruise.'

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

'That's the last time you talk me into one of these party cruises!'

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

"Show-off!"

'The more I think about it, the more I believe this man is right!'