Carry-on Champ Pillows

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Dad Trophies

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

The birth of junk mail.

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Schrodinger's kittens

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Cardboard, Paper, Comics.

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

"Leftover seeds."

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

"I'll have a double entendre."

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

'In the old days we used charcoal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'

Ant Farm Concert

'Little more work needed on your braking Mr Smith!'

"On the day after Christmas, lots of families celebrate Boxing Day... They box up things they don't need anymore and give them to charity."

“Now that you’ve stayed up all night trying to cram everything you need into a carry-on, and now that you’ve reconciled with the fact that your hair dryer had to stay behind, and now that you’ve frantically rushed through the airport with your cumbersome luggage in tow and made it through security and to the gate just in the nick of time, we’re going to make you check your bag anyway. Don’t worry, though — it’s complimentary.”

Recyclable Coffins

"There's a man at the door collecting for Jesus...."

"You gave at the office, but you work from home?"