Package Critic Gifts

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Packaging Russian Dolls

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

Fragile stamper.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

Capitalism

"Can you skip to the part that doesn't suck?"

'Special Delivery!'

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

Too much packaging

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"Bloody privatisation, have you got 50p?"

"Everyone who's unhappy with their health system is here."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'Jimmy, the most important thing to know as a new doctor is never cure your patient the first time. That way they have to come back and pay you again.'

"Damn it, Eddie, you told me this script was stupid."

"Very rich people exploit system shock!"

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

Discreet Shipping

"He's miming from a tape from head office."

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'It's for Pookie.'

"Every year it's the same old thing. Another pair of socks and another double chin."

'It's not as bad as it looks! It's essential training, I think some of them quite enjoy it. A bit like a horror movie.'

"It's been brought to my attention that your cubicle has only a two out of five rating on Tripadvisor."

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Well, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

Child's Birthday: 'More junk, I bet!'

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."