Cable Critic Gifts

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

Trial by Media

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Reading my Critics

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

'There's nothing on.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."